health | 5 min read
Medically Reviewed By
On November 13, 2023
Written By
On November 13, 2023
Either you have a room you’re looking to rent, or you’re looking to rent a room – but you want a sober roommate. You need a sober roommate.
Part of your sobriety journey is surrounding yourself with supportive friends and community. A roommate isn’t always personal and may be more of a business relationship. But, as someone who lives near you, their habits and actions can trigger relapse in you if you’re not careful.
Sometimes, finding a good roommate seems daunting because you’re also desperate to find an affordable place to live. How can you have affordable living and a sober roommate?
Here are 8 resources to help:
We are Ascendent NY – an upscale rehab center in Midtown that discreetly caters to those suffering from alcohol and drug abuse. We give our clients the tools to regain control of their lives from addiction, living with newfound freedom and purpose. As part of our alumni community, our clients get set up with in-person and virtual support groups and weekly staff check-ins. We have our own “Alumni App,” which lets you connect with other alumni to share milestones and encouragement.
Since you’ve been through the same robust recovery program, you all would make great roommates should you choose to live together. You can keep each other accountable in your recovery journey, an invaluable asset for long-term recovery.
Call today to see how we can help you find a sober roommate.
Don’t be afraid to get vulnerable and ask for help from your inner circle. Accessing personal networks via word-of-mouth is the easiest path to take when it comes to finding sober roommates.
If someone you already know and trust is looking for a sober roommate, then a shared living situation involving the two of you makes a lot of sense. But, if the prospective roommate is a bit more distant, like a friend of a friend, then you might need to do a little detective work to figure out if they are a good decision.
Contact them and treat the prospect of living together like an interview: Are you a good fit for each other? Find their profile on social media to see if their responses to your questions seem believable compared to their online presence.
Halfway houses (aka sober living houses) are transitional housing for people recovering from a drug or alcohol addiction. Some halfway houses are part of the criminal justice system, but others have a specific focus on people recovering from addictions.
Halfway houses are conceptually located halfway between traditional psychiatric care, where you are considered “sick” all the time, and your unstructured home environment, where you have no emotional or practical support systems to maintain sobriety.[1]
Generally, NYC halfway houses are publicly run and have a maximum time limit you can stay there. Sober living facilities are privately run and have no limit on how long you can stay. Halfway houses do not require rent payments but may require you to attend house meetings, court dates, complete chores, and attend support groups. Halfway houses have an ingrained support network of sober roommates.
Everyone living in the house is in some stage of their recovery journey. This means you all can hold each other accountable for not using drugs or alcohol because that may trigger relapse in other sober residents.
In New York City, there are many halfway houses, and you can search this free online directory to connect with sober roommates.
MySoberRoommate.com is a free social networking service for anybody in drug or alcohol recovery trying to find a sober roommate. You don’t even need to be in recovery to use it–the only stipulation is that you want a sober roommate.
First, specify whether you’re trying to find or fill a room. Then, you’ll have the ability to differentiate yourself via an advanced set of criteria such as:
You have a large opportunity for success because there are over ten thousand potential roommates on MySoberRoommate.com.
Since its founding in 1938, 12-step groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) groups have been reliable places to find roommates who also desire sobriety.
These support groups meet regularly around NYC. Attendees offer each other emotional and practical support to stay sober. Millions of people have achieved sobriety through the completion of the 12-step program. Many groups are meeting across all five boroughs of NYC.
Indeed, one meta-analysis found that 84% of scientific studies identified faith as a helpful factor in addiction prevention and recovery.[2]
Faith-based communities are fantastic places to network to find a sober roommate. Since faith-based communities tend to have a shared set of ethics and believe in abstinence, it can help to have a roommate who believes in the value of being a support rather than a hindrance on your recovery journey.
One popular Christian 12-step program is Celebrate Recovery, which is currently hosted by two churches in central Harlem adjacent to Central Park. Check out the group locator to find a participating church near you.
Other churches may have congregation-specific programs, so ask somebody in leadership what resources they have to offer you.
If you’re struggling to find a sober roommate, you could try calling the NYC311 hotline. It’s open 24/7/365, and operators can connect you to non-emergency city services. They are skilled at finding services that meet your needs. These services can include connecting you to an addiction support group to find a sober roommate.
You can call them from inside NYC at 311 and outside NYC/through Skype at 212-639-9675.
Getting addicted to drugs or alcohol can wreak havoc on your personal life, career, family, and the prospect of a bright future. If your alcohol use disorder goes untreated, you can expect to live 24-28 years shorter than the rest of the general population.[3]
Because addiction is complicated and difficult to control with sheer willpower, we at Ascendant NY are here to help.
No matter who you are, how high your needs are, or what your history is, we can craft an individualized treatment plan that can be a roadmap for healing and success.
Our residential program includes upscale accommodations set in the heart of NYC. Whether you choose residential or outpatient care, you can expect to receive world-class, evidence-based treatments that inspire you to break the chains of addiction and hope for a better future.
Our staff are highly trained and extensively accredited to provide top-notch addiction treatment services to all five boroughs of NYC. They are compassionate but also will motivate you to push through the difficult days of your recovery. Your success is their number one priority.
Call today to talk with our team about your recovery.
A sober roommate is a priceless asset to your recovery. Look high and low to find one because they are worth their weight in gold.
You’ll need to summon every bit of internal and external support for a successful recovery journey. Having a roommate who is a help rather than a hindrance to your journey will pay you dividends in terms of removing potential addiction triggers.
Use one of the resources above to find a quality, sober roommate.
Staying sober means abstaining from drugs, alcohol, or other addictive practices.
Abstinence does not mean “no fun,” but rather means that you are trying to experience life fully. Abstaining does not mean you are content with a sub-optimum enjoyment of life but rather want the optimum experience.
Sobriety is a worthy pursuit. It involves acknowledging your past, the challenges of the present, but also your goals for the future. It is hard, and there will be dark days, but the light inside you will always help guide you down the right path.
Sober living costs depend on a conglomerate of factors.
Your needs, history, length of stay, location, and lifestyle will determine what sober living will cost. Each sober living facility will have a different rent charged to residents, whereas halfway houses may not charge rent at all.
But, your admittance to a halfway house program is not guaranteed. Be sure to check the rates at multiple facilities before making your final decision.
At the moment, there is no regulation concerning the certification of NYC sober homes.
Currently, the status of NY Assembly Bill A6369 is pending, which means that if it is signed, New York will codify into law the process for sober home certification, inspections, and violations. This bill was a response to the overdose deaths of two men in an unregulated sober living facility in NYC.
Currently, they don’t need to be licensed. But that may soon change.
Here at Ascendant New York, we understand the importance of having access to accurate medical information you can trust, especially when you or a loved one is suffering from addiction. Find out more on our policy.
[1] Reis, A. D., & Laranjeira, R. (2008b, December). Halfway houses for alcohol dependents: From theoretical bases to implications for the organization of facilities. Clinics (Sao Paulo, Brazil). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2664286/
[2] Grim, B. J., & Grim, M. E. (2019, October). Belief, behavior, and belonging: How faith is indispensable in preventing and recovering from substance abuse. Journal of religion and health. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6759672/
[3] Westman, J., Wahlbeck, K., Laursen, T. M., Gissler, M., Nordentoft, M., Hällgren, J., Arffman, M., & Ösby, U. (2015, April). Mortality and life expectancy of people with alcohol use disorder in Denmark, Finland and Sweden. Acta psychiatrica Scandinavica. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4402015/